It’s always lonely at the top

It’s always lonely at the top and even though

I am surrounded by laughter and smiles and mirth,

it feels as though there is no one to hear the scream

i scream on the inside. The only ears that hear me cry are my own and the only

voice that gives me advice resides within my thoughts.

It’s always lonely at the top as the people who make it seem as if they care

are the ones that think most about being there,

and the friends who promised to never leave your side

disappear when they see the deep chasm that is the fall.

It’s always lonely at the top for you are betrayed

for material things that will wither as time works its magic on them,

like plants left out in the harsh sun with no water.

Its always lonely at the top because the people

who claim to be your friends are the only ones that aren’t,

with their promises and crossed hearts of

being there forever when forever ends day after tomorrow.

It’s always lonely at the top when you are eye level with the stars,

feeling jealous of the love affair they hold with the moon

and the way they question the dark.

And you start to wonder whether once you fall a little,

will you be like the stars too? Twinkling in the dark

where everybody expects to find you every night?

Always remembered but long forgotten?

It’s always lonely at the top as expectations physically hurt

and they break you apart piece by piece,

laying out each square telling you that this one should paint

while the opposite one dances.

Today I whine and complain about the loneliness that overtakes my being, like a monster under my bed would,

wrapping its spindly long fingers around my neck

making me wish that it wasn’t so, every waking moment in this world.

Because being at the top may mean I have everything I need except

a person proud to call themselves my friend for me, I would

rather stay afloat in the middle where the people that surrounded me

In this strange world were the only ones I needed.

The kind of people who would jump and dance with me

when I’m elated and cry right beside me when I have been

pulled down to the level of someone who doesn’t wish to be happy.

The kind of people who can communicate with just

the look in their eyes and never miss what they say are the

ones that I will truly cherish. It may be lonely at the top right

now but it doesn’t have to remain this way

There are people out there who can be human too.

For they know when to give up and when to keep fighting

and those are the kind of people we need.

So today I whine and complain but

one day when I have beautiful children of my own

“Beware” I will say to them ”It’s always lonely at the top.

So go make yourself some friends that will treat you like family”

I will give them fair warning of the cruelty in this world for I

would hate to see them ripped to shreds as I have been

“Beware” I will say to them“ It’s always lonely at the top.”

 

 

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