Well in the past 2-3 days (once I turned 13) I had 2 quite deep thoughts, I mean, I wouldn’t even have seen the deeper meaning had I not been so away from friends that I had time to think. These 2 thoughts/ideas or whatever one might call them made me ponder so much it literally is not funny(yes I know:wrong use of literally)but anyways here’s the first one

It’s that you know how there are so many deaths taking place around Us and we hardly seem to feel sad(though that’s not the point).You know how when we are younger we all think that we wouldn’t even be near death until we were around old enough to handle the grief(though that is not the point either)Tthe point is once when I was in fifth grade my best-friend lost a close relation we didn’t know how to put,we called it that he had expired but now that I think back saying expired for a Human just sounds and feels so weird,it’s not the way you talk about a human ,someone who had lived at one point in time ,someone who had a soul, some life and love, it sounds like something you would say for something which was bound to go at one point or another-yes i know that most believe that we humans are exactly  that  but not me(though this is not the entire point either).I re-read  the book ‘the fault in our stars ‘ and realized that until then I had no clue how to put it into words that someone no longer lives,laughs or loves in fact isn’t alive at all.I got it when Augustus Waters explains to Hazel Grace(yes i’m gonna say that it sounds better than just Hazel) what happened with Caroline Mathers -“she no longer suffers from personhood.”My point was that does anyone really SUFFER from personhood?Can life for someone be that horrible that they resolve to saying that they SUFFER from it?Yes i agree that we all have our challenges and that that situation was different and I couldn’t even imagine the pain and the agony of living with a brain tumor but I’d like to believe myself optimist enough to say that no one really SUFFER’s from personhood as Augustus had put it

P.s Thank you John Green for it was the way you wrote that reminded me of these memories of fifth though they aren’t the best ones  and Thank you for it was your writing that made me ponder on these questions



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